Consensually non-monogamous gay men's experiences of stigma within the gay community in South Africa

Abstract

Considerable research has explored the practice of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) as an alternative relationship configuration, and such research has had a large focus on the ways in which CNM and those who engage in it may be perceived and even stigmatised. Given that CNM may represent a queer(ed) alternative to heteronormative monogamous ideals, this study continues in this vein by critically examining how such perceptions and stigmatising enactments may occur for and by gay men. Specifically, this study has as its aim the exploration of how gay men in CNM relationships in South Africa experience stigma directed at them by other members of the gay community, both in terms of identifying the specific nature of such social interactions and how these experiences are understood and interpreted. To this effect, a purposive sample of seven gay men who are or have been in CNM relationships were voluntarily recruited from various locations across South Africa. Data were collected through individual and unstructured virtual interviews. Thematic analysis was implemented and grounded within a phenomenological paradigm, and the study utilised the existing body of research on stigma as a theoretical framework. Three main themes arose from this study: (1) (re)creating homonormativity, in which gay CNM practitioners rhetorically remade CNM as the status quo alongside monogamy for some gay communities and explained this in terms of gay men’s normative negotiations; (2) social navigation, or the ways in which CNM individuals may regard their relationship as socially irrelevant or alternatively with reluctance to disclose, as well as the ways in which they are received both positively and negatively by their gay peers; and (3) marking identity, which explores how some gay men may enact stigma through elements of social rejection, sexual objectification, diminishing social power, or by applying stereotypes that undermine and invalidate CNM/practitioners. These findings extend the research on CNM stigma by identifying its particular manifestations among gay men, and by further highlighting how relationship ideals are negotiated, transplanted, or revised by some gay men given the broader heteronormative contexts they inhabit.